Cynical Nation

If I were president, I'd replace Sandra Day O'Connor with Glenn Reynolds. Since that ain't gonna happen, however, here's what I think President Bush should do.

O'Connor was the first female Supreme Court justice, so replacing her with a white male is not an option. Bush should research a female or minority jurist with a well-established track record of orginalist or strict contructionist philosophy, but without an incendiary paper trail on hot-button issues such as abortion. When such a justice has been found (let's call him "Mini-Clarence") Bush should appoint... Judge Roy Moore.

This will trigger the "Mother of All Shit Fits," which I predict will last about two weeks. Then, once they've hosed down the walls of the Senate chamber, the war can begin in earnest. There will be endless debates and filibusters, and many, many failed cloture votes. George Voinovich will probably cry. There will be protests and counter-protests, recriminations and name-calling. New 527's will form. Bill Frist will threaten to go nuclear. Bush will blame the Senate for being obstructionist and refusing to fill an important vacancy on the High Court. The Democrats and Air America and MoveOn.org will call Bush and extremist.

Then, after about a month of this impasse, Bush will quietly dispatch John McCain to "negotiate" with moderate Senate Democrats. After a lengthly all-night horse-trading session, they will emerge to announce that a deal has been brokered and the healing can begin. The president will agree (reluctantly) to withdraw Moore's name from consideration and to nominate Mini-Clarence instead. The Democrats agree not to filibuster. America is the winner.