Cynical Nation

Yeah, I know I'm arriving late to the piss-on-Santorum party, but up until this point I figured anything I could possibly say would be redundant. I mean, if one were of a mind to, one could easily read anti-Santorum screeds pretty much 24/7 on the port side of the blogosphere.

But this time I want to attack him for something a bit different. Via Jeff Jarvis, check out Ricky's smear against the libertarian right:

One of the criticisms I make is to what I refer to as more of a libertarianish right. The left has gone so far left and the right in some respects has gone so far right that they come around in the circle.
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This whole idea of personal autonomy -- I don't think that most conservatives hold that point of view. Some do. And they have this idea that people should be left alone to do what they want to do, that government should keep taxes down, keep regulation down, that we shouldn't get involved in the bedroom, that we shouldn't be involved in cultural issues, people should do whatever they want. Well, that is not how traditional conservatives view the world. And I think that most conservatives understand that we can't go it alone, that there is no such society that I'm aware of where we've had radical individualism and it has succeeded as a culture.

With all due respect, Senator Santorum, what the hell are you talking about? Conservatives have always been a bit stodgy, but up until fairly recently, you could at least count on them to, well, keep taxes down, keep regulation down, and (with a few admittedly significant exceptions which proved the rule) essentially allow us to run our lives unmolested. You take all that away from me, and what reason am I left to support you, exactly? This ties in with my earlier post on Republican fiscal profligacy. The reasons for my joining the Republican Party in the first place would seem to no longer exist.

And another question, Senator. Since you've explained to us what conservatives don't stand for (by essentially itemizing everything conservatives are supposed to stand for), how about explaining what they do stand for?

No, on second thought don't. That would just be too damn depressing. But you need to know that you don't speak for all conservatives. I'm a conservative, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that your perverted, bastardized philosophy shares with mine.

If I were a resident of Pennsylvania I would be looking forward to voting against you. Meanwhile, I suppose I will content myself with sitting here nearby and hoping for your electoral defeat. And yes, I fully realize that you will likely be replaced by a Democratic candidate whom I will like no better than you. Nevertheless, this hijacking of the American conservative tradition, and your brazen insult to the remaining faction of your party that still has a brain cannot go unpunished.

In the meantime, go on about your business in the Senate while you still can. You and Senators Clinton and Lieberman can work on your latest plans to ban titty movies. I sincerely hope this coming year will be your last.

(PS -- and the horse you rode in on.)