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It's Lent!

And I don't have ashes on my forehead. If you ever see me with ashes on my forehead, it means I passed out in a bar and my face landed in an ashtray. I'm not giving up anything, either. I'm just going to try to be more industrious about going to the gym. It's a worthy goal, but it's hard to cast in terms of self-denial.

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I will be giving up my virginity for Lent -- just as I do every year

And I will be foresaking both Brussels sprouts and scallops.

What a heartbreak.

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